How To Disagree Well

How many of you have been caught in the fray of disagreements leading to division in the body of Christ? This has been one of the most painful predicaments in the church, and has resulted in hundreds upon hundreds of denominations that often will not speak or fellowship with one another. 

Ephesians 4:4-5, however, states: 

4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. (NASB)

Christ, Who is the Word, and Papa and Holy Spirit only sees ONE body – His body! And He calls His body to one command – the commandment of love. Before the cross, Jesus said to his disciples: 

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35, NASB)

After the cross, John reiterated this to believers in 2 John 1:5: 

5 Now I ask you, lady, not as though I were writing to you a new commandment, but the one which we have had from the beginning, that we love one another. (NASB)

Jesus prayed that we would be one AND He gave us His glory to be able to do so! 

22 The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; 23 I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. – John 17:22-23 (NASB)

So, how are we one when we clearly disagree?

We choose to love as commanded despite our disagreement and we draw upon the grace of God to do so!

No matter how passionately we disagree, we can more passionately refuse to fall out of love. We can choose to forgive. We can choose to embrace our brothers and sisters, knowing that we are not gathering around doctrine. 

This is huge! When we gather together around doctrine, we reject those who don’t agree with our doctrine. This is a prideful thing because who has their doctrine laid out all neatly? We all have a little heresy somewhere – but God is bigger than our error. Gathering around pet doctrines is driven by fear of error that has lost sight of the Person of Love that drives fear out. In humility, we need to hold our pet doctrines lightly and camp out unwaveringly around Christ and His finished work. We are gathering around Love and the work of Love.

The context of one body, one Spirit, one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all—who is over all and through all and in all—is in the verses right before Ephesians 4:4-5.

Ephesians 4:1-3 (NASB) says: 

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 

As we gather around Christ and His work – we are abiding in the Person of Love and the fruit of Love pops out (John 15:1-16). And Love is patient, kind, not envying or boasting, not proud or rude, not easily offending. Love keeps no records of wrongs and always believes the best (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). 

We can disagree passionately. But we can love even more passionately!